John Armstrong suggests the best books ever written on love

John Armstrong, author of The Conditions of Love and contributor to The School of Life's Love course, recommends his top ten books on love.

(The photo, by the way, is by Matt Stuart, The School of Life's photography expert.)

1. The Symposium by Plato. Discussion of same-sex love at an Athenian drinking party; perhaps the most entertaining work of philosophy ever written (although the competition has not been terribly intense). The first really systematic and serious attempt to say what love is, weighing up the relative merits of different points of view. Two big claims. One: love is based in weakness - we love because there is something missing in us, because we are incapable of being happy on our own. Two: love is the most important experience in life - we love what is good in the beloved, and through this learn to love goodness itself.

2. First Letter to the Corinthians by St Paul. Mixed in with bizarre pronouncements (many of them about women's hair) are some of the most profound and influential assertions about the nature of love. Love is essentially linked to kindness, forgiveness and modesty. Not a very romantic message.

3. The Sonnets by Shakespeare. Often quite confusing, but Shakespeare's Sonnets include some of the most touching expressions of love. Filled with lovely, melancholy reflections.

4. Roman Elegies by Goethe. Guilt-free holiday romance; intelligent erotic poetry.

5. Elective Affinities by Goethe. Probably the first analysis of sexual chemistry. We don't have rational control over who we love. Tells the tragic story of the perfect couple whose idyllic life is destroyed when each falls in love with someone else.

6. Love by Stendhal. Obsessive, but insightful, study of the process of falling in love. Wonderful mixture of self-pity, philosophy and anecdote. Stendhal's 'tone' is a high point of civilisation - witty, cultivated, confessional.

7. Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy. The most intelligent and perceptive romantic novel ever written. Contains amazingly lucid evocations of every stage of love. Superlative narrative treatment which holds everything together with complete naturalness.

8. Family Happiness by Leo Tolstoy. Brilliant study of the revival of love in a marriage grown stale over many years.

9. The Art of Loving by Erich Fromm. Love as the antidote to loneliness - but only if we get past our own romantic egotism and concentrate on caring for the other person. Wise and mildly depressing. Modern life feeds our selfish demands and therefore makes love harder to achieve, but all the more necessary.

10. Essays in Love by Alain de Botton. Charming analyses of the various phases of a relationship (from first sight to separation). The intellectual insights are so well digested and pleasantly expressed that one may fail to see just how serious they are. De Botton is currently the finest English prose stylist.

Comments

[gerovital]

my favourite is Goethe
is a genius

[snowlin]

http://imbrenda.busythumbs.com/

[Werner]

Hallo,
ich kam durch Zufall auf diese Seite und möchte einen netten Gruß hinterlassen. Ich würde mich freuen, wenn ihr auf meiner Homepage auch einmal vorbei schauen würdet! Vielleicht wollt ihr einmal auf Sylt Westerland oder an der Ostsee Urlaub machen?! Wir haben dort sehr schöne Meerblickwohnungen. Vielleicht bis bald einmal!
Herzliche Grüße
http://www.MeerblickSylt.de
http://www.OstseeblickHolm.de

[Caroline Dawnay]

I like the way Edward in ELECTIVE AFFINITIES realises that Ottilie has fallen in love with him because her handwriting has become the same as his. Goethe is very good at love, I think. Your own book is illuminating about him, an enviably vivid portrait of a man for our times.
Alain de Botton is good too.

[claudia]

This reminds me that yesterday I was browsing the BL's Humanities section and ran into a 5 (thick) volume "Bibliographie des ouvrages relatifs a l’amour" in the french literature section. Even if the pages were blank (which it weren't) this would have made a great art project.

[claudia]

This reminds me that yesterday I was browsing the BL's Humanities section and ran into a 5 (thick) volume "Bibliographie des ouvrages relatifs a l’amour" in the french literature section. Even if the pages were blank (which it weren't) this would have made a great art project.