To coincide with Alain de Botton’s new book, The Pleasures and Sorrows of Work, The School of Life is reinventing itself as an alternative job centre throughout April. But we're turning the usual way jobs are advertised on its head. Rather than invite employers to advertise jobs for us to squeeze our ourselves into, we’re inviting you to write an ad for the job of your dreams, and let employers decide if they are able to offer it to you.
The instructions are simple:
Write your personal job ad, which advertises to the world the kind of person you are and what you care about.
Make sure that your ad includes:
• Your name or pseudonym (and maybe a personal motto)
• Personal qualities
• Talents
• Values and ambitions
• Anything else you wish (e.g. I want a job that where I laugh a lot, would like to use my Spanish, work abroad, expected salary)
• How you can be contacted
Send in your ads via this blog, or e-mail them to [email protected]. We’ll collate the best entries and post them up both here and on our website. If you want to make something particularly beautiful feel free to post your ad to us at The School of Life, 70 Marchmont Street, London WC1N 1AB and we'll display it in our shop.
Throughout April we're also offering 25% off bookings made for our Work course. The course explores the expectations we have around our jobs from both a personal and a historical context. It provides a unique opportunity to reflect on how each one of us can make our own working lives more fulfilling, creative and adventurous. Find out more here.
On April 3rd, we’re relocating to The Hub – London’s hotbed of social enterprise – where Alain de Botton will be interviewing seven people who love what they do to find out what the rest of us might learn from them. Find out more here.
And finally... we're offering signed copies of The Pleasures and Sorrows of Work in our shop at just £14.99 (RRP £18.99).
It feels unnatural to promote myself... such is the way that life is in this world, it seems. How to sell yourself without selling yourself short and without feeling like you've sold out?
Que sais-je?
It is the line that I live my life by, and Montaigne is my hero. (Although Diderot is a close second, having kept me company for a long time at University).
I value authenticity over sincerity.
I am brave in thought and action.
I have integrity in thought and action.
Employers will be interested in knowing the following: great GCSE results, ditto for A-Levels, degree from Cambridge in French and Spanish
But this isn't just me... anyone could have those accolades (as I am constantly told that they are, though I am prouder of other achievements in my life).
I am the most determined person you will ever meet.
I am, so I've been told, gregarious, funny, vital.
I want to find an employment that allows me to be creative.
Hobbies/ likes are pretty generic (unfortunately); reading, writing, learning, singing, people-watching, getting on my soap-box in the company of friends and family, good red wine (in moderation, bien sur), French, travelling, collecting the most touristy postcards from the places I have been to, making analogies about situations that arise (strange, but true), thinking, loving, talking.
If you want someone who is introspective without being self-obsessed, someone who is original but knows the value (and truth) of cliches, someone who is flexible and ambitious but true to herself, then take a chance on me.
Posted by: Jasmine Cooper | September 05, 2011 at 02:10 PM
(Without wishing to spoil the theme...)
I actually DID find my ideal job, advertised in the traditional manner:
"WANT TO WORK FOR THE SPORTS ILLUSTRATED OF THE CARIBBEAN?
Now is your chance. Ambitious publisher is looking for journalists who know and love sports and who wouldn't mind living in the tropical paradise of Puerto Rico."
Unfortunately, this position was advertised in 1959 - and was filled by one Hunter S Thompson.
Posted by: ASH Smyth | June 29, 2009 at 04:56 PM
All I have is my voice
With it, I could turn around a nuclear missile. Or make a man step back from the cliff edge. I hid it away for a long time, until I realised that it was unique (every voice is) and I could simply be myself in the matter. I know the effect music has on me, so I also see what it can create in others. I stopped hiding out and stepped forward. I found a producer who is my champion and hero, so at least I'm not doing this on my own. Now I wonder what's next.
Who I am is a giant, and a pioneer for what's possible for mankind. Despite being 5'1"
I want to have a house, where all people are welcome, with a walled vegetable garden and a recording studio that the community can use. I want enough income to use residuals to fund projects that make a difference. That must run to a few million. I don't want to distribute CDs. My dad is a pioneer in film and I want to use my genes wisely to think of music in a new way. People rehash the past too much.
Most of all, I want to do this all the time, now.
I would rather gnaw my own leg off than work in an office. I love people. I hate working on my own, even though I can. I like laughing until my tummy hurts. You can pay me in roast beef dinners.
Nice to meet you
Posted by: Lucy | April 29, 2009 at 12:33 AM
Nickname: JJ (short for Jaya Jaya = Victory). I like the meaning of my own name, which translated means Mountain Born - because I have an aspiration to take things higher in my life and in my work.
Personal mottos: “I walk this earth to work this earth”; “Beat the grinch”
Looking for:
A journalistic/writing/research position, with/without responsibility for others, that:
• needs a creative mind to find story leads that are aspirational and - even if in a small way - world saving;
• offers varied learning, growth and media opportunities (broadcasting, vodcasting, podcasting, documentary making);
• which is flexible enough for me to attend acting auditions;
• which offers sufficient salary to enable me to visit India, my spiritual home each year, and to take courses; and
• which offers unpaid or paid leave of several months, at least once every two years.
Talents:
• Strong literary and research abilities - I am a good prose writer as my blogging, professional journalism and script writing assignments show (I am highly creative – for example, in my role as a heavyweight technology, business and policies journalist, I found different angles, such as humanitarian and visionary approaches to finance, which industry readers were thirsty for); and I recently won a haiku poetry mentorship, which will end in a published booklet of my work);
• Excellent acting abilities/ strong, unusual character – I am able to hold a film as a leading actress (as evidenced in three award-winning overseas feature films – in which I played strong female leads - and the many offers I turned down in order to delve into Eastern mysticism).
• Very focused and disciplined worker – I love to work, learn and be creative, and am very independent – the ultimate “self-starter”. Being under-worked or being made to work in a machine-like way, or being expected to engage in small-talk half the day is unbearable for me. I need to be productive and to be constantly learning, so flexible timings work very well for me and for my employer. I always deliver.
• Thrive on challenge.
Values and ambitions:
My chief values in life and work are: endless learning and self-development, freedom, seeking for a new world order, honesty, sincerity, self-forgetfulness, uprightness, “Yes We Can!”
Commercial interests – all for, but it is the attitude with which these are engaged in that is important to me.
My ambitions are:
• To progress in writing and film projects – so: flexibility to go to auditions and act in projects; to develop my writing skills to include: broadcasting and documentary making; and to develop the ability to write about spiritual, psychological and philosophical subjects.
• To have the time (several months at least every two years) and money (either paid leave or sufficient salary to save up for unpaid leave) to visit India, which is my spiritual home and where I would like to engage in voluntary work at an intentional community there rather than just taking holidays; I would also use this time for other literary and study projects.
• I also dream of working with others who I am in resonance with. Those who have an upbeat and visionary attitude to work, and who can turn whatever they are doing into something wonderful simply by having that attitude and that vision.
Personal qualities:
At the emotional level:
• Happy;
• Insightful;
• High emotional IQ;
• Highly enthusiastic and can usually see the positive side;
• Creative, can-do attitude;
• Quick to anger, but quick to forgive and forget;
• Laugh easily (but not all the time), and smiling is more natural to me than frowning;
• Quiet but not shy or introverted;
• Loving;
• Aspirational in a poetic, spiritual sense as well as a commercial one;
• Idealistic with a strong grasp of realities – the two must go hand in hand;
• Heroic by nature - stand up for the underdog and against injustice;
• Self-analytical – try to change circumstances by changing myself first.
At the intellectual level:
• Bright in a visionary rather than Cambridge graduate way;
• Self-confident;
• Often see things others don’t and can make something good out of something others have thrown away;
• Highly creative and push the envelope (do this sometimes too much in my personal life and tend to “cliff jump” a lot);
• Highly communicative and am a good, clear communicator;
• Throw myself in.
Wishes:
Salary: £33,000 (pro rata if part-time – 3 days = minimum);
Opportunity to develop something new – or make something old into something new;
A creative and positive environment that also has the wish to win and be the best;
Challenges.
Please contact JJ by email: [email protected]
Posted by: JJ | April 20, 2009 at 12:20 PM
Following the successful launch of the first School of Life in central London, the Government has agreed a roll out, across the capital, of high street Schools to place the innovative Living Life Well initiative at the heart of every community. The Living Life Well initiative aims to help us all enrich our life experience, through greater understanding of ourselves, our engagement with the world around us and our hopes for our individual and collective futures. The local Schools will be accessible to all regardless of age or status, and will create a completely new and flexible local facility to entertain, enlighten, support and share the experience of Living Life Well in local communities.
The Schools will be part resourced by innovative strategies to draw upon the knowledge, talent and experience available within each community. In this way each school will truly belong to the area, and have a remit which is vital and relevant to a specific community and its people. The intention is for the Schools become as fundamental to the local infrastructure as the surgery, library or pub.
As Director of Living Life Well across London’s communities, the successful applicant will have a diverse range of skills and experience to turn this bold vision into reality; whether it is delivering strategy to stakeholders, brainstorming ideas, using high level organisational skills to realise anything from a pageant to a workshop, or be able to work one-to-one as a qualified coach-mentor. We are looking for a charismatic individual who can motivate and inspire, and be motivated and inspired by others in equal measure. Our director will have a range of intelligences to draw upon and understand the complexity of what it is to live now.
Criteria:
The Successful applicant
• Will be able to offer fresh perspectives on our current realities that help others to take responsibility for their shaping their own journey through life.
• Will be able to recognise the value of Living Life Well on a number of different levels; from personal to global, everyday to visionary.
• Will be able to communicate the connection between fulfilment, healthy aspiration and a sense of self-worth.
• Will have the capacity to understand that everyone’s values are different and equally valuable; and that we are led by common fundamental needs.
• Will hold the belief that everyone can find and be who they want to be with the right support.
• Has an on-going commitment to learning and personal development as food for the soul.
• An interest in food, dancing, singing and travel would be considered valuable assets but not essential.
• Loves to laugh, is passionate but not evangelical, and listens well.
This job has my name on it so please contact me at: [email protected]
Posted by: binki taylor | April 01, 2009 at 02:14 PM
Things I will do for a crust:
- Research.
- Creation of ads.
- Strategic Brand Planning.
- General Smiling and Energetic Dogsbody.
Things I will do for passion (in order of desirability):
- Start the Australian School of Life branch (we need to spread this joy)
- Encourage community spirit and engagement and get brands and businesses to pay up.
- Emirates First Class Critic.
- Help give the local nuns a makeover (those shoes have got to go, sister)
- Elephant Keeper (ps. This ad is posted on the Western Australian Government Job site if anyone has any experience in animal husbandry, but get in quick!)
Personal Qualities - Youthful exuberance. Deep-Thinker. Passionate. 'Human-Map' Reader. Warm spirited.
If anyone wants to help me achieve my passion (I am talking to YOU School of Life!) then please get in touch at [email protected]
Posted by: Hannah | March 31, 2009 at 09:19 AM
Hi. I’m 30 years old, I grew up in Vermont and for the last four years I’ve worked as a copywriter in London. Three years ago when malignant tumours were growing inside me and I was undergoing what my doctor referred to as ‘chemical treatment’, I made a solemn promise to myself; a promise that was more sincere than any promise I had ever made up to that point and any promise I have ever made since: that when I recovered I would do something with my life that was both noble and fulfilling.
I’ve been recovered for over two years now and I have yet to make good on that promise. To be fair, I think I’ve come close to honouring it in my personal life. In my professional life, however, I’ve failed.
With that in mind, my dream job would be to sit in a quiet room and write stories that were funny and honest and impossibly imaginative. Stories that would compel people to temporarily halt the mind-numbing routine of life and to think about things that otherwise they wouldn’t think about. Stories that would force me to articulate my unexpressed thoughts on the world, to unleash my pent-up emotions and to confront my fears and prejudices and flaws. Stories that, in short, would be a joy and an honour to write.
I would like to do this for four hours a day. The rest of the time I would jot down observations in public places, interact with people who were either more interesting or more intelligent than me, read and, if it’s not pushing it too much, perform on stage (after all, I have an MFA in acting).
If you’re in a position to offer me such a job and you would like to do so, please email me at [email protected]. It would certainly make my day.
Posted by: ajf | March 30, 2009 at 01:19 AM
GDC – HOW HAVE YOU MANAGED WITHOUT ME?!
WHAT CAN I DO? I’m a “Jill of all Trades” but thankfully a master of most of them! In my working life I’ve had meaningful roles in brand strategy, advertising, PR, marketing and even some customer relations experience. I’m fortunate enough to have agency and client experience, so I understand everybody’s issues. You name it, I’ve probably done it, or at least tried to! I’ve scaled the heights from ad agency assistant to client director of advertising in the City (in between I’ve taken a break from advertising to do all the other things I’ve got experience in).
WHAT DO YOU DO? Ideally you operate an entrepreneurial affair. The people that work with you or for you are like me; passionate, funny, dedicated and know what they do. What you do is unique, maybe you’re artisans, or maybe you operate a boutique version of something that already exists, but the way you do it, gives you the edge over the competition.
You don’t have meetings for the sake of meetings and you don’t allow people to say “reach out” or “run interference” or any other such nonsense which has a perfectly acceptable and simpler alternative. The appraisal system is ongoing, if we fall out, we talk about it, without drama without tears, and it’s like that for everyone, and we make up because we’ll probably see each other more times than we see friends and family during the week.
WHAT DO I WANT FROM YOU? I want a role that allows me to use most of my experience or as much as possible. Although I’m really ready to try something new, so I’m open to all types of roles.
I’m senior in experience but not necessarily looking to rule the roost. Of course I want responsibility somewhere within the role, and if you need a pesky intern or an over bright Generation “Y-er” needing putting back in their box, I can do that too!
I’ll work on a contract for a few months if that suits, or I’ll look at 4 days a week with you on a permanent basis if that works too. I’m open to alternative working arrangements.
I like holidays so can I have 5-6 weeks off a year please (pretty please)? I want a daily rate or annual rate that matches my experience, I’m not expecting a city salary, but I’ll be expecting a salary fit for someone who has senior experience.
If you’ve read to the end and you’re not put off, please contact me on [email protected] or 07800 79 3332
Posted by: GC | March 27, 2009 at 04:23 PM
Katelyn Thomas
Curious, creative, cerebral.
Soon to finish a Masters degree is Biomedicine and Society at the London School of Economics.
Talents: Former semi-professional Irish dancer - currently attempting to conquer belly dance, painter, ability to do a headstand at a moments notice, kite-surfer, speed reader, can make any child like me within 5 minutes, enjoys public speaking, can converse with ease with nearly anyone.
Ideally, I would like to host a radio show discussing contemporary science and controversial topics in particular. I believe the general public is interested in topics such as genetics and in vitro fertilization but lacks the necessary space to hear and participate in much needed discussion. Too often the media depicts complicated, multi-sided issues as dichotomies between pro- and con- science (ex. religion versus science) when a much more nuanced picture exists. I'm interested in ways to facilitate this sort of approach, whether is be via radio, TV, or in print. I'm working on a sort of 'bioethics for dummies' type idea which needs more of my time (as well as a bunch of funding). If anyone is interested in talking about these ideas over a cup of coffee I would be more than happy to oblige. I can write and speak publicly either in a traditional academic, professional, or humorous tone. I was planning on pursuing a PhD and being a researcher but I realize I am too creative for that and need intellectual freedom to pursue these topics. I'm also very interested in the science-art intersection that is in vogue right now and would like to be a part of making it more informative and functional. Additionally, I adore children and think it is important not only to have a strong science education but also to learn how to think about science - ie. how to be media critical, how to assess statistics, how to interpret results, and how to understand the complicated nature of bioethics debates. If anyone has good ideas about how to facilitate and encourage this sort of post/alt-modern scientific critique I'd be interested in hearing about it.
I can be contacted via [email protected]
Posted by: Katelyn Thomas | March 26, 2009 at 10:04 PM
In lieu of a breathtaking inheritance I am looking for a long-term solution to the problem of my ever growing ‘living expenses.’
Previous experience has included research roles in arts publishing, photography and, at present, assisting influential people with their busy, yet often self-important lives.[1] Seeking to continue my PA work long-term (it is surprisingly full-filling when done for the right person) with a fair and exuberant individual of any professional background, but preferably in the arts or similar. Ultimate ambition is to retire near the sea as a content, poised individual without any great financial or emotional neuroses.
Willing and able to travel extensively and at short notice, happy to work long, odd and tedious hours as long as it is appreciated, would enjoy a certain amount of flexibility within the established structure and to be in an environment where creativity is encouraged should the circumstances allow.
No working space without any source of natural light will be considered.
I am articulate, discreet, thick-skinned, unaffected and hard-working (when inspired). A gifted multi-tasker, organised to the point of OCD and should I adore my employer they can enjoy my spectacular baking skills at no extra cost.
I possess all the computer skills and basic knowledge of Modern European languages expected of anyone educated after the end of the Cold War.
Expected salary >£40,000
26 days holiday per annum +Christmas would be reasonable
Thank you in advance for your time,
________________________________________
[1] The merit of their influence is arguable I admit
Posted by: Katerina Liapis | March 26, 2009 at 11:48 AM
VACANCIES SOUGHT:
(1) Prophetess
(2) Philosopher
(3) Dictatrix
(4) Court Jester
(5) Revolutionary
(6) Chat Show Host
(7) Paid Companion to Wealthy Person Who Loves Me
(8) Asker of Awkward Unanswerable Philosophical Questions
PSEUDONYM:
Andromeda Galaxy, The Princess of Paradox
PERSONAL MOTTOS:
"animis opibusque parati"
"By doing nothing, everything is done."
PERSONAL QUALITIES:
Charm
Wisdom
Wit
Logic
Beauty (the kind that is in the eye of the beholder)
TALENTS:
Imagination
Expression
Execution
Subversion
Analysis
VALUES AND AMBITIONS:
Reason
Problem-solving
Good Government
Minimum Government
- To be paid for what I would do for free.
- To be lionised.
- To make participation in politics rewarding and moral.
- To demonstrate the workings of direct democracy through http://www.1party4all.co.uk
- To persuade enough people that a one-party state under a narrower franchise of taxpayers only is the rational form of government and that such a state need not be oppressive or totalitarian if all the safeguards in the party constitution are in place.
- To propagate the idea of the Domestic Partnership to revolutionise and improve gender relations, to be found at
http://thebattlefieldoflove.blogspot.com/2008/12/domestic-partnership.html
http://thebattlefieldoflove.blogspot.com/2009/02/question-for-a-gill.html
- To be one of the Great and the Good
- To be remembered by posterity
- To be known as a one-woman think tank
- To create a new religion
ANYTHING ELSE
Hosting a chat show specialising in interviewing super- villains.
Thinking of things for the participants to do in a Big Brother Politicians' and Super-Villains' Special featuring George Bush, Osama bin Laden, The Pope, The Dalai Lama, the Leader of the Chinese Communist Party, Tony Blair, Gordon Brown and Harriet Harman.
SALARY c £1M pa ONO
CONTACT DETAILS:
Join
http://www.1party4all.co.uk - an opinion polling direct democracy website, fill in your profile mentioning The School of Life, and I will then come to meet you and greet you as the Party Hostess and Job Seeker ...
Posted by: Andromeda | March 25, 2009 at 11:30 PM
‘Too much stability and evolution gets stuck in a rut’
I am creative, empathic, caring, curious, quick to learn, musical, thoughtful, enquiring, organised. An ex-perfectionist who has discovered the joy, as opposed to the horror, of making mistakes.
I speak German, French, Japanese, Arabic, some Italian and a little Spanish. I have over a decade's experience of teaching languages to young people, most exhausting yet highly rewarding. I love teaching, inspiring, empowering. I think of my role as being more of a guide through the valleys and peaks of the mind, seeing what’s there, jumping down new ditches, waving at familiar faces, taking the path less travelled. It's now time for me to leave a very well-beaten path and try a new one. Naturally cautious I'm bringing my wellies, just in case.
I play the piano to Grade 8 standard, and recently, on Tom Hodgkinson's promise of a better life, became the proud owner of a £20 ukulele. You get what you pay for but life is indeed better avec uke, and it occupies a neat space on the sofa that my full-size guitar can only dream of.
Lifelong interests are travel, philosophy and learning just one more language. I can tap dance, and in April I will learn how to make sushi. Properly.
The bigger picture guides me and I am often confused by how little yet how much point there is to life. I am a great believer in the chaos theory and am fascinated by the consequences, both wonderful and devastating, even the smallest action can have. I care greatly about the environment and am frequently awestruck by the natural world and the interconnectedness of everything.
'Status Anxiety' is one of my bedside bibles and although motivated by neither status nor money (but sometimes by anxiety) I would like to earn enough to live a good life on (and to afford the full set of School of Life courses), preferably part-time but not necessarily from the same source. I'm at my best between 10am and 2am and sometimes wonder if I was born in the wrong timezone.
My dream job? I want to work at the School of Life in Manchester. We need one up here too please.
Posted by: Mairi | March 25, 2009 at 10:04 PM
Title: Transforming the Education of Educators
Job Description: This position is responsible for transforming the way schoolteachers are prepared for teaching in schools and for developing a curriculum to actually provide student-teachers with skills to manage classrooms, to manage their data and resources effectively, how to prepare all programming documentation and to be able to identify xenophobic or racist attitudes in themselves or others. Essentially teaching teachers to be able to teach effectively and fairly.
.
Key Criteria: The personal qualities required for this role include:
* a warm and friendly personality with excellent communication skills,
* a visionary,
* a passionate educator,
* a creative problem solver with an eye for detail,
* a talented and creative teaching resource developer
* a refreshingly new outlook based on a broad range of experiences in the field of education, including tertiary education, teacher training and professional development,
* experience in teaching teachers,
* experience in teaching a broad range of students in a broad range of contexts,
* postgraduate qualification in education,
* a deeply held, and earnestly applied ethical approach to everything one does
* an ambition to promote this new approach to be recognised around the world as a way to provide all teachers with key fundamental skills to teach.
The role will be challenging and fun, and requires lots of travel for research and to set up training colleges all around the world. It pays about the equivalent of $AU 80,000 pa. If you have this job to offer please call Vic Farrell on +61 410 416 091 or email: [email protected]
Posted by: Vic Farrel | March 25, 2009 at 09:46 PM
I am extremely committed to anything that involves me using the available information of the universe to analyse and evaluate a suggested cultural theme. I have a stubborn desire to do things in my own way and to fit the needs of the task at hand to my own dreams. I hardly see the point if I can't do this.
I can write prose on many subjects (try me), play the guitar (adequately), wash up, make other people feel at ease (on occasion), and remain stationary in a seat for many hours if something is truly engrossing.
I value free enquiry into any subject, spiritual practices that make people whole, and flights of imagination as a means to show the worthiness of life. I want to build a model community in the most serene place on earth so that all of my friends and people I meet can live happily, and inspire others to do the same.
I want a job that allows me my part in a bigger whole of experimentation and which is self-sufficiently and interdependently funded.
Posted by: Rob Telford | March 25, 2009 at 06:32 PM
In need of a spirited, unapologetically heroic individual who represents the finest qualities and aspirations of the human spirit (with a healthy splash of darkness)?
Charming, highly intelligent, cultured, multi-lingual (French, Spanish, Russian) and overly educated Writer/Actress/Artist looking for an opportunity to shine in an environment that is stimulating and inspiring and surrounded by people who question and care and are just a little bit off the wall.
I care. I care about a lot of things. A lot of things make me mad, but I am fortunate enough to be able to articulate this. I am reassured and overjoyed when others understand my passions and sensibilities, whether cultural or artistic. I long to inspire and be inspired by truly remarkable individuals who also care deeply.
I have an extremely inquisitive nature and a slightly out of control imagination that is barely kept in check. I am a complete aesthete to the point of ridiculousness and I never bow to convention unless I was going to anyway. I come from Spanish (Basque) and Russian stock, and have that well-documented 'trouble making gene' – the good type, obviously.
Blandness, mediocrity, inflexibility and drippiness make me despair. Therefore my dream job would be free of such aspects and full of their opposites. It would also involve travelling and being professionally adored. Why ever not? It would also exploit my natural skills and talent that will otherwise be relegated to the many unused compartments of my rather overactive mind.
I'd like to make a real difference in the world. Or at least a bit of one. Ultimately, I appreciate that being in service to others is vital and, without that, whatever I do will always feel like my cup is no more than a sieve. Basically I just want to play in the world of form, with integrity, truth and a lot of heart.
Tell me this exists, that this is possible, and my hope will be restored. I am, after all, teetering on the precipice at this point. And please, no fibbing, but if you have to, make it a whopper.
Send all job offers to [email protected]
Posted by: La tante de ma plume | March 25, 2009 at 09:34 AM
Kept Woman
Overly educated, fun and attractive woman offers full-time services to equally talented and well-rounded man. Currently based in London, but operations are expanding world-wide. Operating for 36 years she come with a wealth of experience and a lifetime guarantee.
Skills include
•demure when required, otherwise worldly
•good Catholic/Jewish family values (kvetching not withstanding)
•knowing Nabokov from Kalashnikov, Cabernet from mouthwash, and a good painting when she sees one
•helping old ladies across the street – no really, she's excellent at this
•creative dilettante artist and photographer with a penchant for nudes
•role model – Michelle Obama (in search of her Obama...the audacity of hope?)
•laughing, loving life, holding on but letting go, skiing, skin diving, and looking lovely in a cocktail dress
Starting Salary: reassuringly expensive
Job Type: part-time, with ability to move to full-time
Location: flexible, with strong affinity to the USA, Canada, Switzerland, Tahiti, or London (if required)
Job offers should be sent to [email protected]
Posted by: Aurora | March 23, 2009 at 08:25 PM
Miserable, workaholic, perfectionist, athiest anarchist, chafes with authority, seeking part-time enjoyable freelance opportunities. 12 years' editorial experience in academic and educational publishing.
Posted by: E Gibson | March 23, 2009 at 09:18 AM
My name is tom, I’m a boy, I like cats my favourite colour is red, I’m a libra, I like politics, I like tiny indie bands, I like fondu, fish is my favourite food, I used to be a pesky tarian, but then oneday I ordered a bacon sandwich and it was thoroughly enjoyable.
My dream job is being the ambassador for something. I believe I would make a good one. I like to do those sorts of things… im quite clever I read the guardian and all thos kinds of papers so don’t worry, and I regularly try to make people feel bad for buying the evening standard and the daily mail, even though my mum and andy sometimes buy them for the free dvds…
Well I guess what more is there to say,
If you like me gimme a bell!
Posted by: Tom Evans | March 20, 2009 at 12:02 AM
I’m a creative artistic imaginative and thoughtful person, I’m diplomatic, a co-ordinator, I work well on my own and incredibly well in a team. I am looking to work as a fashion designer, my dream would be to have my own business designing and selling my own clothes. my works are completely unique, I would love someone to offer me a job to work for them as a fashion designer and to be able to take credit for my work, or work in a team, but to at least receive some recognition, I would love to have artistic license and not design for a specific style.
I’m hardworking, I’m a goal setter, and i get on well with all different sorts of people, reading all of this must sounds very ambitious, perhaps naive, but this I feel I can write if I have the will and effort to put into these ideas to make them a reality.
To be part of a business i would love it to have an ethical side, I’m passionate about making a difference being able to help others give other people a chance and to do things outside of the norm.. not having to give in to societies norms. I would love to be in a position to help homeless people and pigeon charities, as many times I’ve rescued pigeons but the vets do not strive to try and save them, they just say stupid things like its not worth us putting a splint on his leg because it will slip off! YOUD MAKE THE EFFORT WITH AN EAGLE OR DODO!
All my life my education has been around fashion, fashion design, textiles, and self taught art music and film.
I would love the job to be able to work in Paris at some times. Travelling. Fashion shows, fashion photography, styling buying and definitely designing. I'm a talented artist drawer and I’m very friendly, I can be very quiet, I’m very task orientated and focused, I believe I could achieve amazing results, I’m quite democratic but I’m not scared to make vital decisions and take responsibly for them if there’s the need. I dislike laissez fair people, and i dislike lack of guidance support or encouragement, I dislike lack of morals, I dislike apathy, I dislike authority, I dislike injustice, I dislike battery chickens.
If you feel you would like to give me a job which I doubt please contact me, I've been told I’m a very good and lovely person.
Posted by: Emily Jacobs | March 19, 2009 at 11:51 PM
anyone looking for a full-time generalist, armed with nothing but her creative process, common sense, and passion to learn about everything? this candidate comes with no specialized skills, training, or education and is outstanding at nothing, but is great at lots of things including writing poetry, doodling, combining the two to create silly pieces of art, developing web strategy, analyzing web usability, and editing manuscripts and research papers. in her perpetual hunt for inspiration, she has been known to paint her bedroom walls, act in a student film, and learn how to knit. somehow, all of it comes together to result in an intelligent, creative individual to whom creative satisfaction has always meant more than recognition and money. her ideal job would be one that involves thinking, researching, analyzing, understanding something new everyday and collaborating on long- and short-duration creative projects in any medium as writer and conceptualizer. her ideal workplace would be one that consists of self-taught, self-made individuals with well-defined personalities and positive energy!
can't quite make sense of that? you'll figure it out at mountainsofmolehills.blogspot.com!
Posted by: tanushri | March 18, 2009 at 11:46 AM
Part time Hedonist seeks full time position as a Vacation Tester.
Are you having difficulty finding someone who puts the right amount of joie de vivre into their work?
Look no more. Your search has ended and your quest to find a person who can experience luxury is over. What I can offer:
World Class Chef
Experienced Sommelier
Razor sharp, Sakiesque wit
Willing to live to eat
Knows the proper cuss words for haggling at the Souk.
The ability to determine sheet thread count after serious Champagne consumption.
Able to tell when quenelles are freshly poached rather than merely reheated.
Able to determine the degree of sincerity in a resort managers thank you.
Will travel anywhere for 4 square meals per day.
Can tell the difference between an Irish breakfast, an English breakfast, an American breakfast and a cup of Turkish coffee sipped while squatting in the hot sun.
Loyal as Lassie, ravenous as a zombie, picky as Garfield.
Asks no questions, tells no lies.
Knows the correct procedure when dealing with Debutantes, Dilettantes and Tante Marias.
A long history of enjoying life to it’s fullest without qualms or regrets.
In short, if you need a person to test your vacation, I’m your man.
Posted by: Mark DesLauriers | March 17, 2009 at 04:51 PM
Dear SoL,
My dream job is not to have a job, but instead to have real reason/s for living a meaningful life. So much of what we call modern life is just rubbish - constructed to keep us out of mischief and from living a true life. This is illustrated by the 'Public Relations and Advertising' industry, which in the 1920s was solely designed to ensure that human beings' fears and anxieties are utilised to maintain control over them... because if PR doesn't do this, then something like communism or other ‘thoughts of freedom’ would overtake individuals, groups, and whole societies. This 'freedom' was thought only to be bad, because if people could not be controlled, then leadership would fail. Well, this is the old 'industrial age paradigm of leadership', and is proven through our current global economic malaise to be well and truly expired. However, societies seem to be frozen over what to do, because we have become so conditioned over the last century. We need new leadership for the 'new normal', which is not about jobs and control, but about freeing ourselves to be humans who create some good in the world, and to be rewarded for that.
Therefore, my meaningful ‘dream job’ is about creating the new leadership we so desperately need around the world (and being paid for it!)
Posted by: B’leader | March 17, 2009 at 01:21 PM
Ta Muchly
And just in case the Universe is listening, I am contactable at [email protected] ...
:D
Posted by: EveB | March 17, 2009 at 11:23 AM
Dear SoL ~ My dream job would have a humanitarian slant and involve copious amounts of travel to countries across the world. I am very logical, quick-to-learn and empathic. Previous jobs have included working for a record company, behaviour therapy with autistic children, telephone counselling, administrative/pa work and being a lone-parent. As long as I can pay my rent, money is less of a priority than feeling like I'm contributing as positively as I possibly can to this beautiful bright green Earth of ours!
Posted by: EveB | March 17, 2009 at 11:21 AM