We All Need Words on thingamedoodahs, whatsits and whizzers.

 

How pet names for everyday things make life a teeny bit more interesting.

Things need names. The iPad - someone named that. Ford's Ka, LG's Chocolate and (possibly, maybe) Kiwi Man & Van all had name brains behind them. As a wordy company, we do a lot of naming and it's much harder than it sounds. Especially when most phone companies want space-age names like Infinity and Galaxy, while anything from breweries to banks want the name Freedom.

But away from the nine-to-five, we have free rein. And no trademark lawyers to worry about. So we rename things to make the everyday more interesting. Our folder for the admin bits and bobs that come with running a business is called The Folder Of Extreme Importance. The tax folder (zzzzz) is called Taxi!

It's not just me (although I do I have an extreme case of renaming). One of my friends calls her foodmixer the whizzer (another calls it the magic stick), and her hand-held vacuum cleaner is thehooche - no I don't get it either. Kids rename things all the time, too, and their names stick. A friend's daughter aimed high as a littl'un and renamed Hyde Park, High Heels Park. Not even the Queen's land is safe. In my family, when we were little and my mum made a cake, she'd ask me and my brother if we wanted to lick the lickers (ie the whisks) once the cake mix was ready. I can't call whisks anything else now, which can be embarrassing.

But we don't think you should stop when you're a grown-up. Renaming everyday things adds a bit of sparkle to the mundane. If you look for the icon for the web browser on my computer, you'll find it says procrastinate, go on. The folder that hides the games on my iPhone is called playaway. And the contacts in my phone are a crop of strange names. Do I know the world's tallest man? No, but he claimed he was, so that's his title. Some are more straightforward: a guy called Damian runs a deli, so he's Damian Deli, naturally. It makes finding phone numbers a challenge: you need a good memory because alphabetical order by first name gets you nowhere.

You don't need a pet to have a pet name. Get creative - rename those everyday objects, boring programs on your computer and the folder with your bank statements in. Let us know what you come up with, or tell us the pet names you already use for the whatsits and oojamaflips.

Molmack, as my family call me.

Molly Mackey is one half of 'We All Need Words'. This year they've named a chain of German shops, a property development company and two charities. They're running our Words for Life class on 22 January 2011.

Comments

[Kristy]

A friend of mine is rather volumputous. And I don't mind having an afternoon spleep every now and a again...

[J.]

Pit stop = underarm deodorant

[Melanie]

My office organization system includes a box labeled "sticky stuff" (for post-its, glue, paper clips, tacks, etc.) and files named "Demands for my money" (bills), and Snail Mail (for stationary). I'm so glad to hear I"m not the only slightly goofy one out there. I still smile everytime I grab one of those thingamajobs.

[R]

As a child I dubbed my grandfather's gravy "Wavy Gravy" and now any truly excellent gravy in my family gets this moniker awarded to it. It's like a title now. Not to mention, I am called Bean and I refer to my iPod as my podly so it's Bean's Podly. Wacky, I know.

[Martina Tierney]

Well, not quite what you asked for, but I have a piece of furniture, something like a copy of a Jacobean piece and made in the 19th century. It's covered in little gargoyle style heads, and isn't at all precious. We call it the 'Satanic Altar'... I suppose this is because it's decorated at front and sides and very large and flat on top. In fact it used to be a taller piece, but at some point the back was removed thereby making it look more like a cupboard than a sideboard which it must have been originally. Now within my family this is quite funny, but I have noticed a few sidelong glances when I've referred to it with other people present...

My oldest son used to say 'stop compesting me' when he was little. I presume this was a mixture of 'complain' and 'pester'. We still use it...