After the riots in London this summer, I was happy to join the riotcleanup movement that saw individuals rush out with rubber gloves and broomsticks. But cleaning up broken glass was never going to be enough. What about the psychological mess?
I was struck by a newspaper column arguing that we must listen to the rioters if we’re to understand them. I thought: that’s what I’ll do. I’ll write to one of them. I’ll try to give them a bit of encouragement, at a difficult time. If a correspondence develops, great. If not, I've lost nothing.
I wrote to others involved too. First to Tariq Jahan, who lost his son Haroon in Birmingham, then my local police (in London), and my MP.
Finally, I wrote to one of the people involved in the looting. He'd attracted a lot of media attention because he was older than most, at 31, and had a job as a classroom assistant in a primary school.
I said I imagined it must be painful to have so much anger directed at him, but wanted him to know that some people wish him well - including, I was sure, the children he helped at school. I said that I am very lucky to have an interesting job, a home and lovely family, but that when I was younger I took part in criminal activity just as serious as what he had done. I was always reluctant to join in, but didn't have the strength to stand up against what I knew was wrong. The only difference between us was that I never got caught.
"I know that you will survive this horrible experience, and flourish," I wrote. "Despite the terrible difficulty and pressures on you, I hope you will find the opportunity to exercise the wisdom and compassion that, I'm sure, enabled you to get your job as a classroom assistant."
I posted the letter to his solicitor, whose name I found in the newspapers. (You can read all the letters here: http://tinyurl.com/5s3543f) And a couple of weeks later I got a phone call while I was driving. I pulled over to talk – and it was him.
He said he was really surprised to get my letter, and very grateful. He said he felt very encouraged. He wanted to know why I'd written it, to which I could only reply that I thought it might be helpful. He said it was. I asked him to keep in touch. He said he would. It wasn't a long conversation, and nobody said anything very profound, but we made a strong connection, and something very powerful rubbed off on me. I came off the phone feeling elated.
I'm not entirely happy to blog about this because I fear that it might come across as self-serving. But I'm very glad I wrote that letter, and would encourage anybody to do something similar.
John Paul Flintoff is a Faculty member of The School of Life - join him for the next session of 'How To Make A Difference' on Wednesday 23 November 2011. Read his postings at http://jpflintoff.tumblr.com/
Not everyone who is faced with dealing with things like the aftermath of these riots is capable of doing so with compassion and a passion for balance and fairness. Most of those who have been injured or adversely affected by events tend to long for a justice that has a semblance to vengeance. To recognize that EVERYONE involved has a perspective and a back-story is an unusually compassionate perspective. Some will point and declare disloyalty for their own particular cause or purpose. That is sad, but inevitable.
I applaud your effort and hope you will disseminate what you learn.
Posted by: Michael Robert Lockridge | November 08, 2011 at 03:55 AM