An enormous drill shattered my peace last night, just outside my window. I looked out in dismay to see the town's Christmas lights being attached to my wall. Bah, humbug! With the advent of advent, I ask myself how will I survive the endless parties of next month. The coming of the lights reminds me how little I enjoy the desperate mirth of December. Do you have any ideas of how I can survive this period?
Dear Dismayed,
You need stories. You must tell stories, and collect them. When the cold is eating into your bones and the world outside is increasingly bleak, it is the time to come together and tell tales of every kind. The warmth of human contact is what we crave, and our restless minds need stimulation from all kinds of fable- true ones of terror, false ones of fantasy, seductive stories of utopian eras, dramatic descriptions of sacrifice and sweat. Embrace this time of year as an opportunity to gather friends and strangers with whom you can exchange, pass on, and celebrate the yarn.
Muster a group of cronies, preferably somewhere near a roaring fire and some fine malt whiskey. While the flames inquisitively lick the logs, shadows scuttling into corners, pick random books from your shelves and fling them carelessly into piles around your friends feet. Strew newspapers artistically over the edges of armchairs - some tabloids, some broadsheets, Have some blank paper to hand. Then be ready to make merry with the art of telling tales.
1. Turn to your neighbour and ask him or her about themselves. Delve into their history and discover something about them that you never knew, whether it is the story of their birth, something peculiar that happened to them today, or an extreme event in their life. Encourage them to embellish, exaggerate and use dialogue. They will soon be telling you a story. Everyone should do this at the same time, so that no-one feels self conscious.
2. Each teller picks up two books at random. They write down the first line of one book and the last line of the other, on the same piece of paper. When everyone has done this, take it in turns for each of you to go on a verbal journey from the first line to the last. Thus if you have for instance the first line of Moby Dick ("Call me Ishmael") and the last line Jamrach's Menagerie, ("Very far away, still on my journey, very far away and more beautiful than you could ever imagine."), then you five minutes to fill the narrative gap in whatever way you like.
3. Separate out. Go to different rooms in the house (bathroom, bedroom, broom closet - even in the garden or front doorstep - a bit of freezing air whistling up your shirt could help your creative juices no end). Sit down with pen and paper and write automatically, whatever comes into your head for ten minutes.Start with the word "Once". Come back together and pass your paper onto someone else. Take it In turns to read aloud.
4.Each pick up a newspaper. Turn to page 6, column 3, line 22. Write down the sentence you find there. Do the same thing with page 8, column 1, line 45. And page 12, column 5,one 18. Now use these 3 sentences to create a 5 minute story that you tell the group. Don't spend time planning. Leap in.
Take this storytelling urge into everyday life. When you are at parties, bring out your inner fabulist. Draw upon your memories, imagination and observations to fascinate your friends and colleagues. Enjoy language, make deliberate repetitions, sprinkle your anecdotes with wit. Emulate the great bards. Check out Chaucer. Grab the Gawayne poet, and aspire to his alliterative powers. Read great writers of the present; David Mitchell, Jon Mcgregor, Ali Smith. Copy them shamelessly. Think like a writer. Jot down observations about your day, snatches of dialogue, moments of beauty glimpsed out of the corner of your eye. Weave them into your small talk.
You will soon be the star of the show, and no party will be worthy of the name without you.
You will be desperate to retire to an armchair for a nice quiet read. Put your feet up by the log fire and pick up a good book...
Ella Berthoud is a bibliotherapist for The School of Life. For more information about the service, click here. This Christmas, our bibliotherapists have created bespoke prescriptions for the ‘Christmas Fanatic’ or ‘Christmas Sceptic’ available as a beautifully designed card offering solace or cheer in equal quantities…. Available for £3.99 alongside other gift ideas at our Bloomsbury shop.
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